It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
