Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
