a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
