i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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