well I can't set my house on fire every night
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Randomize
