At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
is wine microwaveable?
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
