I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
