I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
