My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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