I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
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