woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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