we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
