I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Randomize
