I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize