When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I want you more than these girls want KFC
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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