The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
