So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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