Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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