so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Found the puke drawer
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Randomize
