I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Randomize
