I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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