we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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