And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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