Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
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Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
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Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
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