: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
