The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
