Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
