3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize