you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
