just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
its liver damage thursday
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
