got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
