So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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