mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
