ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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