i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
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