I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Randomize
