Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
These 31 Gross People Really Put The ‘Trash’ In ‘Trashed’
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
21 Bartenders That Are Definitely Winning At Their Jobs
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.