im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
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Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.