im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
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Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me