Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
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I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
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Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.