i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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