You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
