I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Randomize
