my room smells like sperm. sweet.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
