she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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