Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
