We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Randomize
