i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I want to be your penis for a week.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
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