Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
