dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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