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She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
