he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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