I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
