if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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