You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
