Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
