bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
