i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
