This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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