I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I just blew my weed a kiss
We don't watch enough power rangers
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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