Me too!
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
