woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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