I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
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