Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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