She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
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At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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