Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(971): View more from Oregon

I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.

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(971): I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex. http://tfl.nu/gyof

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(203): View more from Connecticut

Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.

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(203): Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes. http://tfl.nu/d0yb

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(407): View more from Florida

sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.

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(407): sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch. http://tfl.nu/v1iz

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.

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(717): fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear. http://tfl.nu/l3zn

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(425): View more from Washington

I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.

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(425): I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to. http://tfl.nu/l558

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.

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(918): I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk. http://tfl.nu/1tot

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.

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(617): i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line. http://tfl.nu/bi31

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(501): View more from Arkansas

Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.

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(501): Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth. http://tfl.nu/ddwi

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(702): View more from Nevada

It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.

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(702): It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B. http://tfl.nu/uw83

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.

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(781): Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days. http://tfl.nu/ccfk

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(775): View more from Nevada

I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life

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(775): I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life http://tfl.nu/gkf7

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(905): View more from Ontario

I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.

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(905): I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio. http://tfl.nu/hxom

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(801): View more from Utah

Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.

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(801): Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated. http://tfl.nu/dcl8

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(605): View more from South Dakota

I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.

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(605): I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies. http://tfl.nu/al7b

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(204): View more from Manitoba

I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.

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(204): I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad. http://tfl.nu/nxn2

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