Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(786): View more from Florida

Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.

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(786): Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative. http://tfl.nu/wo1e

Replies (12) Good night (2017) Bad night (577)
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(602): View more from Arizona

Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.

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(602): Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not. http://tfl.nu/pe6e

Replies (14) Good night (858) Bad night (3638)
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(626): View more from California

What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?

(1-626): View more from California

You have mice?

(626): View more from California

no why?

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(626): What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans? (1-626): You have mice? (626): no why? http://tfl.nu/7zgo

Replies (15) Good night (3712) Bad night (867)
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(740): View more from Ohio

I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..

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(740): I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep.. http://tfl.nu/e7l5

Replies (39) Good night (8205) Bad night (781)
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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on

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(412): i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on http://tfl.nu/87g6

Replies (38) Good night (6041) Bad night (1057)
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(406): View more from Montana

i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal

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(406): i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal http://tfl.nu/k627

Replies (36) Good night (5611) Bad night (726)
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(321): View more from Florida Space Coast

Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.

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(321): Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school. http://tfl.nu/sa6n

Replies (15) Good night (3364) Bad night (1673)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.

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(201): She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza. http://tfl.nu/d9wz

Replies (20) Good night (2957) Bad night (922)
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(914): View more from New York

Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame

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(914): Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame http://tfl.nu/j5ak

Replies (9) Good night (2797) Bad night (1245)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.

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(612): i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning. http://tfl.nu/nqu5

Replies (17) Good night (3531) Bad night (1032)
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(228): View more from Mississippi

I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention

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(228): I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention http://tfl.nu/1mmd

Replies (6) Good night (1565) Bad night (786)
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(310): View more from California

I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*

(310): View more from California

Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.

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(310): I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.* (310): Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche. http://tfl.nu/gxdj

Replies (12) Good night (2897) Bad night (734)
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(708): View more from Illinois

Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!

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(708): Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player! http://tfl.nu/3jxt

Replies (8) Good night (3567) Bad night (662)
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(410): View more from Maryland

You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.

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(410): You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers. http://tfl.nu/ew7x

Replies (6) Good night (718) Bad night (1688)
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(256): View more from Alabama

Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.

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(256): Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention. http://tfl.nu/44p2

Replies (4) Good night (1120) Bad night (263)

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