You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Watching her eat just hurts me
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies