just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
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We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
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I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now