So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.