Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic

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(646): View more from New York

ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!

(812): View more from Indiana

?

(646): View more from New York

Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?

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(936): View more from Texas

im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...

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(516): View more from New York

Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(720): View more from Colorado

i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?

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(207): View more from Maine

She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.

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(936): View more from Texas

you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"

(1-936): View more from Texas

I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...

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(713): View more from Texas

just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.

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