She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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